Sophie and Sian 13th August 2010
Sally: sorry Sian, Sophie should have made you a baked potato or an omlette or something
Sian: no it’s great thank you Mrs Webster. How’s um, how’s the new factory?
Sally: well, it’s quite snazzy actually, management have got it best of course with swanky new offices, but we have got a trendy new kettle. Thanks for asking
Sophie: ignore the words snazzy and trendy
Sally: eh, Sian isn’t shallow like you madam
Sophie: oh sorry your halo’s in the post
Sally: oh I wish I was back at school
Sophie: oh, mum got in with a gang of smokers and skivers, you did. Karen Jones and Nicky Furlong, yeah ASBO’s hadn’t been invented then
Sally: ay, we weren’t ASBO material
Sophie: Mum, you smuggled Sherry miniatures into the Christmas disco…she got excluded for three days
Sian: radical
Sophie: my hardcore mum
Sian: are you still in touch with them?
Sally: no, I lost touch with Nicky years ago. I don’t half miss them, we were inseparable, be warned
Sophie: yeah I think we’ll be ok
Sally: oh it can’t be the morning drags on like nobodies business, it gets to lunchtime and it whizzes round like a Disney clock
Rosie: maybe Fiz left him, penny finally dropped, I married a perv
Sally: well, he’d have to be the one to leave here because it’s her house. God it must have been a big ding dong
Rosie: maybe he’s after a bit of school uniform, again
Sally: ah you keep away from him
Rosie: duh…ah the god botherer so needs a makeover
Sally: hey, she’s fine as she is. It’s you whose hem could come down a few inches
Rosie: where is she anyway? What with her Siamese twin
Sally: she’s hooked up with a few mates in town…hello Sally Webster, no I’m afraid she’s not here, right, right, yeah she’s very lucky, okay thank you she’s very lucky
Rosie: what’s up mum?
Sally: Celia from the headline festival, someone handed in Sophie’s purse
Rosie: OMG, Sophie Webster your pants are on fire
Sally: all the lies and to my face
Rosie: all right mum, calm down, I mean it’s only a festival, it’s no biggy. It’s not like she’s on crystal meth or something
Sally: bare faced whoppers about flaming Southport. A right proper little double act. I thought Sian was a good influence on her
Sally: so you enjoyed Southport did you girls?
Sophie: yeah course we enjoyed it
Sally: an I hope you offered to help Sian’s mum with the washing up and the cooking and things
Sophie: yeah we did a bit didn’t we? We made that meal one day didn’t we?
Sally: oh did you, what did you make?
Sophie: um a mixture
Sally: a mixture?
Sophie: yeah you know when you get everything and just throw it all together
Sally: because I had a very strange phonecall earlier on, from a women from a music festival, saying she had your purse. So I made another phonecall or to and it turns out you never did any washing up Sophie because you were never in Southport
Sophie: no, well what happened was
Sally: what happened was you asked your dad and I if you could go to the music festival, we said no so you decided to go anyway
Sophie: I’m sorry
Sally: to hell with us, you just snuck off; we had no idea where you were
Sophie: because it was only for a couple of days
Sally: well, you’re grounded Sophie, indefinitely…and as for you Sian, I don’t want to see you in this house again. Now Rosie I could believe this of but not you
Rosie: er, what have I done?
Sally: so say your goodbyes and make it fast
Sophie: dad?
Kevin: I agree with every word you mother has said
Rosie: what even the bit about me
Kevin: especially the bit about you
Sally: hey your dad’s here
Bill: hey, sal, kev
Sally: we’re not interrupting anything are we?
Owen: no not at all, Jason two more drinks here
Sally: oh you know the afternoon we’ve had, honestly Bill what have we done to bring our daughter up a liar
Kevin: trick question
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